Looking in the Mirror

Definition of Mental Health:
"A state of emotional and psychological well-being in which an individual is able to use his or her cognitive and emotional capabilities, function in society and meet ordinary demands of everyday life.

(American Heritage Dictionary)

As a person who struggles daily with depression and stress, I’m dedicated to not only being able to function in society and meet ordinary demands but to have "Good Mental Health"… having extreme feelings of well-being, happiness, satisfaction, creativity, comfort, gratification, joy and bliss---in my everyday life. Unfortunately, for some of us --- this doesn’t come effortlessly but takes a conscious decision every day to live our lives with grace and tranquility.
Louise June Miller

Looking In The Mirror

Many of us think that as we age that looking in the mirror becomes more and more difficult, but is our opinion of our bodies really true or really a lie. Have we ever been happy with our looks at any age? This is a question we should ask ourselves. Personally I can remember being sixteen years old and thinking my thighs were huge. I was very athletic. I was 5’4" tall and weighed a 110 pounds. Of course my thighs were not fat. I would die to have those thighs again. So now at age forty-five it is hard to lose those same feelings. If you think you are fat at 16 how can we expect to feel any different as we age?

I was listening to Oprah talk on her soul series to someone about her weight. Her guest asked Oprah to describe her issues with weight and Oprah replied that she wished that she were a size 10 instead of a size 14. Her guest asked her if she truly felt that her body was too large. Oprah replied "yes… in her opinion that she felt that she was too big". The guest asked, "do you know this to be a truth" that you are too large. Oprah struggled with this question but eventually said that her body had served her well and that she could not say that it was an absolute truth that she was too big. The guest then asked if Oprah didn’t not have these negative feelings towards herself "How would she feel?"….and Oprah said "joyful". She acknowledged that she puts too much time and energy into negative thoughts about herself. If she didn’t have these thoughts that she could give energy to other things. Oprah’s guest stated that it is not the fact that Oprah’s body is too large "it is Oprah’s thought that it is too large that causes her stress".

Oprah’s always talking about "aha moments"; well this was my aha moment. Here is one of the most influential, wealthy, beautiful black woman in the world talking about her negative self image. So many women would love to look like Oprah. She looks like she has everything, the job, the best friend, the boyfriend, the money….and the looks. How can she possibility think she is fat when I think we all think she is absolutely beautiful? Well she can think she is fat because we all thing negative thoughts about ourselves that are not necessarily true. Unfortunately, most of our brains are hardwired to breed negativity. Look at all the models that have self image problems---these are models! They wouldn’t be models if they didn’t look good. It made me realized that I needed to start appreciating my body now, today. Not look back on my life and say I looked good when I was sixteen, I looked good when I was twenty, thirty, but never acknowledging that I look good now.

When I let go of my negative thoughts about myself, I find that I stand taller and I’m more confident. People responded to me differently. I feel that people can sense my inner beauty radiating outward.

If we can just let go of our own made-up negative stories about ourselves and instead focus on living a life full of fun and adventure we would be so much happier. We don’t believe Oprah’s story that she is too big so let’s stop believing in our own negative stories about ourselves. We use up too much of our energy focusing on the negative and not the positive aspects of our lives. I will never look like I did when I was sixteen years old, but I also will never look like I do now at the age of forty-five. The fact of life is that we age. Let’s not forgive ourselves for aging let’s embrace ourselves for aging. Appreciate that we have bodies that serve us well…and that we are all beautiful for being unique and different.